Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
