you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
