I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize