you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
