First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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