Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
