They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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