Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
