He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You dont lie about slip and slides
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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