im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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