i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
