Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my shit smells like andre
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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