i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
