is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
