I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
