If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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