That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
