i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
