Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
