I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
