I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize