it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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