Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
