Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
