rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There are leaves in my underwear?
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