im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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