She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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