Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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