Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
