I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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