Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
