If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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