His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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