Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
