I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
