It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
