I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
the raccoons are back...
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