We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
