There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
