I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
