She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
