I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
