I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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