I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
