I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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