bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize