We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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