i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
