Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.

Fav 21 10159 2030
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.

Fav 14 1078 4002
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

Fav 29 5427 1964
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.

Fav 7 3320 933
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

Fav 8 1648 732
share tweet
(+81): View more from

I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

Fav 4 921 584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol

Fav 3 1100 524
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.

Fav 1 705 398
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.

Fav 0 17 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT