I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.