fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
