She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
