she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
