dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
