we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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