Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
